Backing into the Future

Attending funerals always prompt me to look back on my life and reflect on what's significant. What really matters. And, for the Christian, God's tremendous faithfulness in our lives. These moments cause me (and I'm sure you, also) to not just look forward to our home in heaven but to dwell on how the Lord has worked through me in the past.

I attended another funeral this morning -- for an 89 year old woman named Buna Rickner who was a retired school teacher. Her husband was killed in World War II. They had only one son, who preceded her in death five years ago. And yet she left a tremendous legacy as a elementary school teacher and mentor of young teachers. The woman who gave Buna's eulogy today was one of these grateful teachers that was mentored by this champion. Buna Rickner's life taught us all so much as we heard her story.

A dear friend of mine who had been a missionary in Africa once told me of an experience that has shaped me so much in prompting me to look back...and not just look forward. He told how the Africans taught him how to "back into the future." He said that we Westerners tend to always be looking ahead. But because we don't know the future, it's as if we're standing in front of a blank wall -- unaware of the next moment of our lives.

The Africans, in contrast, used this imagery of walking backwards. Always looking at past events -- learning from what occured in their lives -- as they backed into the future. I love this approach to life and need to practice it daily.

Yesterday I read this prayer of Jacob, as he looked back on God's faithfulness:

"I am not worthy of all the faithfulness and unfailing love you have shown to me, your servant. When I left home, I owned nothing except a walking stick, and now my household fills two camps!" -- Gen 32:10, New LivingTranslation

What blipped in my mind was a scene in my life of more than 26 years ago. I had left my home state of California and was moving to Dallas with all my possesions in the back of my Volvo stationwagon. It was a whole new world for me. The shining office buildings of Dallas were such a stark contrast to the beaches of California that I lived next to all my life. And yet I felt this strong leading to leave my "home country" and explore new territory.

And as I sat in my favorite chair in Abilene, Texas, where I commune with the Lord each morning and reflected on my move to Dallas, I praised God for His faithfulness in my life. He led me to meet a wonderful Christian woman who grew up in Dallas, went to Abilene Christian University, had not married and was now working on her Master's in Social Work. We've been very happily married for 24 plus years. He's blessed us with two precious children who are now students at Susan's alma mater.

O, we've had struggles and setbacks and disappointments. But as I "back into the future" and see all that the Lord has done in our lives, and used us in His kingdom in the various places we've lived and ministered -- Memphis, St. Louis, Connecticut, Texas, Mexico and Brazil (mission trips) -- I can't help but join Jacob in his prayer to the Lord" I am not worthy of all the faithfulness and unfailing love you have shown to me, your servant."

Have you looked back on your life lately? Even if you reflect on last year...or last week, surely you'll see the kindness of the Lord and His faithfulness to you -- perhaps especially as He carried you through those dark nights of the soul.

Rather than worry about the future, I want to spend more time looking back and be continually filled with thanksgiving and praise to the Lord...and greater trust in His care for my future.

Under His mercy,

Jim