Parents, Teens and Talks about Sex

While preparing dinner last night, Susan and I heard a rather jolting program last night on Dobson. It was about teenagers and sex. A woman interviewed has a ministry with her husband on how to help Christian teenagers honor the Lord with their bodies. In her talks with other teenagers and research about Christian youth groups she was shocked to find how these young people often define virginity -- to many of them it's technical virginity. They think that as long as they don't go "all the way" then they're within the confines of what's right. But what they do with their boyfriends/girlfriends is very sexual behavior.

This woman tells of her promiscous days as a teenager. Even though she loved the Lord, she was so hungry for male attention that she gave herself away to guys and later regretted it. After she went all the way with one guy, she felt so guilty and buried that memory for 10 years -- not telling a soul. Then one day while driving her young child on an errand she heard a radio program about sexual purity and her heart was pierced. She pulled to the side of the road and wept. Then she went home, cried out to the Lord and when her husband came home she told him all about her secret sin. He received her and loved her. She felt like she was falling in the arms of Jesus in how her husband treated her.

After the program was over, Susan and I talked about this topic during dinner and both said that we need to talk to our children more - who are both in college. And our son is in a fairly serious relationship with a girl at his college. And we really like her.

We've had some talks about sex with our children before. Usually they were fairly short talks, and yet if we got "preachy" at all, they wanted to stop the conversation.

Even though it's difficult and risky, Susan and I feel strongly that we need to talk to our kids about sex once more -- especially since Aaron has been dating this woman for the past few months. We want to discuss how important that a couple dating structure their relationship so they don't get in situations where they're alone a lot (as in one of their apartments at night). And I want to make sure we talk about the positive parts of sexuality, not just "don't do it until you're married." That is, I want to emphasize what a wonderful gift it is that God gives a married couple, how it not only produces children but is an amazing bonding experience between a couple. And how waiting is so worth it and how the Lord blesses a couple that waits until marriage.

Okay, fellow bloggers -- especially you who have teenagers or have already had teenagers in your home? How have you talked to your children about sex? What really seemed to work for your family in these discussions? And what did you do (or do you do) to help your children feel secure in Christ and in their relationship with you so that they weren't as prone to seek intimacy and affirmation from others through illicit sex?

Let's encourage and instruct and pray for each other -- and for our children. So that they will truly honor the Lord with their bodies - and experience the joy of obedience to Christ.

Jim