Spirit- tempered Relationships

Yesterday when I got some news from one of my brothers out in California, I got really mad. He told me that a person we've hired to take care of some property issues for my mother has been dragging his feet for a long time. These past several months I've called him over and over. He keeps telling me he'll take care of the matter and then we learn later that he still has not done the job. I've contacted the man who hired this property guy and urged him to put the pressure on him. He says that he tries to motivate the man, but nothing gets done.

In the heat of my frustration, I composed a rather strong e-mail to this person we hired. I could feel my blood boil as I hit each key. Man, I felt such righteous indignation! There's an adrenalin rush that flies through your body when you ventilate your feelings toward someone who has not done you right.

However, just before I hit the send key, Someone appeared to hit the pause button on my heart. It seemed wise to first send the e-mail to my siblings, to get their input and make sure I wasn't just reacting in anger.

One of my personal policies is to not use e-mail for confrontation. Therefore, I felt that if I were to sent this man an e-mail I should first call him to let him know of my deep frustration with his service and that I'll be sending him a message via e-mail to explain why I'm so disappointed in his work and what the consequences will be if he wouldn't act immediately (no, I wouldn't threaten him with a law suit but rather go hire someone else).

One of my brothers responded to my e-mail and shared my anger. In fact, he felt I was too nice. I'm still waiting to hear back from my other brother and my sister before I do anything.

Above all, I want to respond in a way that honors Jesus Christ. I realize that this still may involve tough love and not letting this man run over us. But yet as followers of the Lord Jesus we must deal with those with whom we have conflict in a Spirit-led way. God's honor is at stake...and so are eternal souls.

Reading 1 Corinthians 10 this morning gave me a lot to ponder as I considered this conflict with these two service providers. While the context of Paul's teaching was about eating food sacrificed to idols, what He says guides us in how to use our freedom in Christ for unselfish purposes.

Before rising from my chair this morning to shower and dress, I spent a long time reflecting on this verse:

I try to please everyone in everything I do. I don’t just do what I like or what is best for me, but what is best for them so they may be saved. -- 1 Cor. 10:33

How would my relationship with this service provider (and thus my e-mail to him) be shaped by the reality that he may not be saved? And what if I considered not what is best for me but what is best for him -- especially his eternal soul?

I realized that we don't need to be codependent with people and put up with shoddy work. If someone we hire is not getting the job done, we have every right to release him and find someone else. But mustn't we do so in a way that differs radically from the way the world would do this?

And so, I come back to my e-mail. I'm asking the Lord to above all temper my attitude through His Spirit's work in my heart. Again, His honor is at stake. And the way I handle this matter could make a profound difference in this person (who irritates me terribly) who was created by God and for whom Jesus died.

Jim