Spiritual Directors

Last month over the holidays I experienced some inner turmoil. Not sure why. Our family was fine. Christmas was great. Time with extended family was wonderful. But still, I found myself wrestling with feelings of restlessness, discontentment (there's that word again) and self-evaluation. My wife, Susan, is often my counselor when I go through these times. But I don't want to always burden her with these negative thoughts. And also I've learned that having spiritual counselors or directors outside of our marriage are so valuable. Yet I don't seek their counsel often enough.

But the turmoil in my soul pushed me to the point of seeking help. I shot off an e-mail to a fellow elder, David Wray, one of the most insightful and wise spiritual directors I've ever encountered. He's been a shepherd for many, many years and is one of the best teachers I've known in spiritual direction and formation.

After leaving Subway Sandwiches yesterday with a lunch that I purchased for both of us, I made my way to David's office. "Why am I a bit nervous about meeting with him,?" I thought. Later I realized that it was probably pride. I don't want to be needy and to share my neediness with another person. I'd rather pray about my worries and problems, confiding in God about them -- and also with my wife. But oh, how I need to open my heart to another trusted friend -- especially a Spirit-filled man like David who delights in having spirtual conversation with others.

We talked about the "dark night of the soul," a phrase that comes from the famous book by St. John of the Cross. David explained that what St. John was talking about was times when we need someone else to petition God on our behalf. When he made that statement I realized once more why it's vital that we share our spiritual journey (including our sins and worries and insecurities) with another Christ-follower. God uses such friends to lead us back to the throne room and give us perspective on what may be bothering us or hindering us in our walk with Christ.

David also referred to the books of Henri Nouwen quite a bit. These references to Nouwen made me want to go back and read some of his books that I've already read... and then to read some new ones -- including The Road to Daybreak (exploring his journey from the lofty ivory towers of Yale and Harvard to working among mentally challenged people in Canada). Our talk made me want to take more time out for reflection and meditation. To curb my drivenness and relentless feeling to get more accomplished.

We also discussed how to provide spiritual direction to others -- not as one who has it all together but as one who is like one beggar sharing bread with another beggar. I asked about how to be a shepherd day by day, and not just at elders' meetings. David suggested that I look at each person that I encounter throughout the day as a divine appointment. See them as someone tht God has put in my path to display His love. This idea gave me a new perspective on interruptions of others and the many brief talks that I have with our volunteers at work, such as when the come by my office or when meeting them in the hallway on the way to get a cup of coffee.

I went away from that luncheon deeply thankful to the Lord for how He slowed me down and spoke to me in this conversation and prayer time with David. It made me think how vital it is that I not be an island, but rather to continue sharing my faith journey with others believers -- whether it's me providing them some guidance... or them helping me. I'm reminded of that profound truth in Scripture: "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" -- Prov. 27:17

My hope and prayer for you, dear reader, is that you avoid the lone ranger lifestyle that I'm so often tempted to live. That you will continually seek out "soul friends" with whom you can be gut level honest and meet Christ in their face, their words and their counsel.

Do you have some stories to share about how someone gave you some valuable spiritual direction lately?

Jim