Being Encouragers...Not Critics

My daughter had a hard day at work yesterday. During the summer she has been working full-time at a day care center. At times it is a very demanding job. But she hangs in there, partially because she loves those babies. And they love "Miss Shannon." But yesterday was especially tough because the bosses paid the center a visit. Since it's a day care funded by state money, there are tons of rules and regulations to follow. And the visiting bosses enforce them strictly - but at times with not much grace. Shannon said that all they seemed to do is point out what the workers were doing wrong.

After Shannon finished telling of this burden, I told her of a recent article I read in the paper. It described an experiment in management education. Two volunteers are selected from a classroom and asked to leave the room. Those who stayed in the classroom were told to help the first volunteer do a particular task when they came back in the room -- erase something from the chalkboard or throw away some paper. The class was to help their classmate figure out what the task was through what is called "performance feedback." The first volunteer came in and every time he or she got close to doing the task, their classmates cheered them on. But if they were far away from the task, the class just sat still in silence. About 90 percent of the time this volunteer would figure out the task -- encouraged by the positive feedback of their classmates.

The second volunteer came into the room with same assignment --- but this time if they moved toward the task, the classmates became stone-faced and gave no positive feedback. If the volunteer moved away from the task to be done, the peers would hiss and boo and reprimand them. About 90 percent of the time, the second volunteer would give up because they were so discouraged!

The point of the experiment is obvious -- leaders need to learn that using more reward and less punishment and criticism will bring about optimal performance of their people.

After I told that story, Shannon said, "Wow. That is exactly what went on today. We just felt criticized and were all so nervous when these supervisors showed up."

I told her how vital it is for leaders to cheer on their workers when they perform well. To be encouragers. To catch them doing something well and praising them. And this is so true in parenting, too. Criticism and nagging and pointing out faults just discourages the child. While they need discipline, they also need an enormous amount of affirmation. Now I'm not saying that we do this to the point that we love the children because of their performance. We need to love them unconditionally. What I am saying is that children, as well as subordinates, do so much better when those leading them are encouraging coaches, standing in their corner and cheering them on.

I realize that our human tendency is to be critics, to point out what people are doing wrong – especially perfectionists like me. That’s why we Christian leaders and parents need to continually ask Jesus to change us so that we won’t be fault-finders but instead bring out the best in those they lead. Not just so our children will do well or that we’ll maximize the performance of those we supervise at work – but because it is one more way to honor the Lord, who came here not to be served but to serve.

Jim