Allowing Jesus to Ask Us Questions

One of the most delightful retreats I've ever participated in was last year when God blessed me with the opportunity to attend a pastors' retreat in Oceanside, California. It was held at a Catholic retreat center on beautiful grounds, kissed by gorgeous Southern California weather. When I first got there I wondered why I left this area. Then I recalled how I met my wife in Dallas and life has been so rich in this second half of my life where I've been away from the gold coast.

Ruth Haley Barton led our retreat. It was two and a half days of enjoying the rhythm of going into solitude, then community, and then solitude -- back and forth. We heard her speak several times. Had morning, noon and evening worship in the chapel -- very simple worship with Scripture reading, listening to God and singing a hymn.

We ate meals together, spent afternoon and evening breaks enjoying fruit and snacks (and on the last night we could enjoy a variety of wines). At various times she had us go to our room or find a place to sit in the gardens or lovely courtyard -- where we spent 30 minutes or so listening to Jesus speak to our souls.

It was a wonderfully refreshing soul feast -- something I need at least once a year.

Two nights ago Susan noticed in the paper that Ruth was going to speak at Hardin-Simmons last night. We both decided to go and though it wasn't quite like the Oceanside retreat, it was an evening of respite for the soul. Ruth took us through an exercise where she read the story of Jesus healing the blind man, Bartimaeus. She called us to settle down in quiet before Jesus and allow Him to speak into our hearts as we let Him ask this question:

"What do you want me to do for you?"

We all sat there for 15 minutes of silence, letting Jesus come to us face to face with that question. I felt uncomfortable at first. Out of control. It was not an exercise where I studied God's word and tried to get some answers and figure out what it was saying. Rather, I was letting Jesus examine my heart and telling Him what my deepest desires were.

What eventually came to mind was this: I felt like there were certain things in my life of which I had no control. Issues that have bothered me for a long time that I knew that in my own power I could not change -- just like Bartimaeus could not make himself see. He needed the healing touch of Jesus to make him well. So did I.

I asked Jesus to deliver me from this self-centeredness that I feel in bondage to and replace that hole with His love, His joy, His presence. And now by faith I'm going to claim that He is going to deliver me from this junk, this sin, and replace it with my greatest desire, my greatest need -- which is the very presence of Christ. It was a precious moment last night.

So let me ask you this: what if some time this weekend you spent at least 15 minutes of silence before the Lord and stayed with that question of Jesus: "What do you want me to do for you?"

And then just be very honest with Jesus. Tell Him your greatest desire. And listen for His answer back to you.

I pray that Jesus will remove whatever blindness, whatever burden, whatever sin is keeping us from enjoying the fullness of life He offers us each day. And then, like Bartimaeus, get up and follow Jesus. Every day...and forever.

Jim