Give Love a Chance Again

While having lunch with my dear friend Randy, a friend of his walked up to us and gave him a hug. After she left, Randy said that this woman had been gone through a very painful divorce years ago (are there divorces that aren't painful?). A few years later God brought into her life a wonderful Christian man whom she married. She took the chance to love another man and by God's wonderful grace this time marriage has been for her a blessing.

Then Randy said, "Jim, I want you to write something to those you minister to about never stop loving. So many people who get burned in relationships are reluctant to open their hearts up again to love. Encourage them to give love a chance again."

All of us have some wounds in our hearts – inflicted in some relationship. Could be marriage. Maybe something that happened to us as a kid. Or a mistreatment by a boss; being betrayed by a friend; disappointed by a fellow believer in our church.

When we’re hurt by someone we expected to nurture our lives, the wounds can linger for some time. I think that’s why people that are let down by someone in the church can get so angry at the body of Christ – and at Christ Himself. They expect so much from someone who claims to be a Christian. And so the wounds hurt even more.

About seventeen years ago, Susan and I were in the Northeast as part of a team planting a church. In time we realized that the situation we were in did not fit us. After prayer and seeking counsel from those outside our small band of church planters, we decided to leave and move closer to Susan's home state of Texas. It was a painful move. We both felt very guilty. Many of the team members had a hard time with how we left earlier that we had originally planned. In retrospect, I could see why they were hurt and at times angry with us.

We ended up in Abilene in the summer of 1990 -- with two young children, Susan starting to teach at ACU and me going back to school and working part-time. And we did join a church -- Highland -- and slowly became involved. But quite frankly, I was afraid to get too close to others because I didn't want to get hurt again. Probably unconsciously, I was protecting my heart. Yet I knew that I must love again and take that chance to be disappointed by others, and yes, disappoint others.

However you’ve been hurt in a relationship, let me encourage you to listen to the wisdom of my friend Randy. Give love a chance again. It may not mean necessarily getting remarried. It may just involve letting someone get close to you – a person you can trust and yet someone you realize will not love you perfectly. Only Jesus can do that.

I think this is why the Hebrew writer urges believers to live peacefully with others and let no bitter root grow in our hearts (Heb. 12:14-15)

So let me say once more – give love a chance again. Yes, do so with your eyes open. Recognize that the love from others will always be imperfect…just as ours is. And yet God cannot work through a hardened, protective heart.

And when we love again, in the name of Jesus, I firmly believe we’ll receive a healing in our hearts from Him that will give us the strength to keep our hearts tender towards Him and others.

Jim