Last year I often noticed this book being advertised and was very curious about its title. Yesterday afternoon when I was browsing the new book section of the library, there it was. I knew it was time to check this book out and read it: Approval Addiction by Joyce Meyer. The subtitle will grab you: "Overcoming Your Need to Please Everyone."

Last night Susan and I had a peaceful evening sitting by the fire on a cold night, each reading our books. I was immediately drawn into Joyce's teaching, thinking that she had been reading my mail...or my e-mail...or this blog. She spoke so much to the struggles I've had over the years with people pleasing. Joyce says that an approval addict will have an abnormal concern and an abundance of thoughts about what people think of them.

I didn't think that people pleasing was such a problem with me -- until several years ago when I worked through a 12 steps program at our church. God led me to a sponsor, Keith Miller's excellent book on Christ-centered recovery (The Healing Journey) and a weekly group at our church called "Christians in Recovery." During that experience God revealed to me my drug of choice: co-dependency, being too tied to the approval of others.

This desire to have everyone like me comes out when I need to confront someone. I generally hate dealing with confrontation, although God is giving me some victories in this area lately. Of course, when you work with 70 different volunteers each month as I do, you must learn to deal with confrontation and conflict resolution or you won't survive!

I remember one time last year when a volunteer showed up one morning. She had been causing our other volunteers a lot of problems and so I knew that morning it was time to sit down and have a hard talk with her. I must have paced up and down the hallway three or four times before finally getting up the nerve to ask her to sit down with me so I could gently confront her with this problem.

You probably already know what Joyce Meyer proposes as the solution to approval addiction: finding our security through Jesus Christ. I love this line: "Knowing who we are in Christ sets us free from the need to impress others. As long as we know who we are, we don't have to be overly concerned about what others think of us."

Late last night, I looked over and noticed Susan asleep on the couch. I closed the book, got on my face as I laid on the floor next to the fireplace and meditated on the Father's love. And I asked Him to help me claim once more my identity in Jesus Christ and to be delivered from approval addiction.

My prayer for all of us this week: Lord Jesus, please deliver us from this desire to please others above pleasing You. Help us to live out that old Petra song: "I want to be a God pleaser. Don't want to be a man pleaser. I just want to do the things that please the Father's will." I ask that You instill deeply into our hearts an awareness that in Christ we are accepted by You, loved by You, valued by You. And that because we are accepted through the blood of Christ, our goal and calling is to live for an audience of One. And then may we speak the truth in love with others, even when we disagree with them or are engaged in conflict with them. In the mighty Name of Jesus Christ, our righteousness and our daily strength, Amen.

How about it bloggers? How has God helped you lately in overcoming this need to please others?

Still under construction,

Jim