Praying for our enemies

In his comment yesterday, G-ampa C. brought up Jesus' admonition to pray for our enemies, and he applied this to our war with Iraq and terrorists in general. He asked, "What would the Islam religion (as a whole) think if they found out we prayed for them every day in worship?? How might it change us? How might it change them??"

As I told him, I don't pray for these enemies. But I need to. And I want to.

Now let me bring this issue of praying for enemies closer to home. What about those close to us who have hurt us lately? A co-worker. A friend. Even our child or spouse. Last week a woman coming to us for help got mad at me and ended up going elsewhere for help. I was probably was partially at fault for our disagreement. She seemed rather demanding and so I spoke a bit strongly with her. Later I felt convicted for not being as sensitive as I should. Because I lost her phone number I asked a friend of hers to call me back so I could try to make up with her. But she had no interest in calling me back.

Now I found myself being mad at her and annoyed with her attitude. Yet I want to have compassion for her, to pray for her. I don't know all of her circumstances and so there may have been a legitimate reason for how she seemed to be a bit overly sensitive. As I went out to get the paper this morning, I thought about her again...and got annoyed with her once more. But instead, I want to pray for her.

Several months ago another woman called me at the office. She wanted to know if I told our clients about "the Lord's church." Basically, she was interested to know if I towed the "party line" in our fellowship. I tried to explain to her that we don't promote a particular denomination but rather tell people about Jesus. She then began to launch into this tirade about how liberal I was. It was amazing to hear how angry she was and how much venom came from her mouth. Again, I tried to reason with her, but she continued attacking me and our ministry some more and then hung up the phone.

I get so angry with legalists like this! I don't want to love them. But then I come back to Jesus. My Master tells me that I need to love those who persecute me, to bless them, to pray for them.

Don't you feel a bit of righteous indignation in holding a grudge towards those who have hurt you? So do I. It seems so unfair at times to forgive them. To let go of a hurt. But as G-Ampa C reminds us, as he calls us back to Jesus, we're commissioned to pray for those who hurt us -- so that they will change. But also so that we'll change, too!

I realize that when we're hurt or offended by someone, it's unrealistic (and emotionally unhealthy) to just brush it off and act like it didn't bother us. I think we need to process that anger, to work through it as we take it to the Lord and, when appropriate, talk it out with a close friend that we can trust with a confidence. I'm reminded of those I've known who were abused as a child or whose spouse left them. They were angry! And justifiably so! And it took time to work through this hurt and rejection and violation. And yet the ones I've known who ended up at peace with the Lord and could move on with their lives are those who forgave their enemies. And now pray for them.

This is tough stuff, isn't it? And yet when we do eventually forgive our enemies (or someone who isn't necessarily an enemy but who has let us down in some way), and begin praying for them, not only does God work on their hearts, but He works on us more -- so we can be more like Jesus.

Learning to pray and forgive, as I have been forgiven,

Jim