It's All About the Heart

As I pray and begin preparing in my mind a class for Sunday, "heart matters" keep surfacing. It's not surprising. Our men's class at Highland is working through the wonderful John Eldredge book, Waking the Dead. One of my all time favorite books. Late yesterday afternoon, while working out on the treadmill, I re-read the chapter, "The Heart of All Things." Here are a few quotes that really gripped...my heart:

"The subject of the heart is addressed in the Bible more than any other topic -- more than works or service, more than believe or obedience, more than money, and even more than worship."

"Christians have spent their whole lives mastering all sorts of principles, done their duty, carried on the programs of their church...and never known God intimately, heart to heart."

Now I believe that last statement is a bit overgeneralization. Not all Christians have been just duty bound. However, I understand Eldredge's point -- that too often we believers get so involved in religious activity, and at times miss the matter of the heart. Again, quoting Eldredge, "The point is not the activity-- the point is intimacy with God. "

I love this promise from Jer. 29:23 in the New Living Translation:

"'If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me. I will be found by you',” says the LORD."

I've been wondering what it is that prompts believers in Christ to really seek Him, to look for Him in earnest, to long for that intimacy. How are we motivated to not settle for just being saved and waiting around to go to heaven?

My experience and observing the experience of others is being broken by the Lord. Ouch! I don't like being broken. I want life to be easy. And yet I know that if the Lord doesn't take us through some valley from time to time we'll have a tendency to feel self-sufficient and cling to our idols -- even if those idols are things like family, our job and financial stability.

Last night at Lectureship Ken Greene delivered a stunning message on John 20, admitting his times of being broken where he went through a time of emotional doubting. Though Ken has been preaching for years, following a definite call on his life from the Lord, he admitted that he is too often like Thomas -- wanting to see in order to believe. After crying out to God for quite a while, he finally sensed that peace of being held in the arms of Jesus, our crucified and risen Savior. And the Lord used a phone call as part of this answer to tell Ken that He was there and had not forsaken him. His mother called from North Carolina to say that he had been on her mind and that she loved him.

To be honest with you, my heart was relieved to hear Ken confess doubt. Because I, too, have been an "emotional doubter" on and off for many years. Though I've believed in Jesus for years, have placed my faith in His finished work on the cross and regularly call upon Him as Lord -- at times I just don't feel Him. And I too often compare myself to other believers who seem to have such a rock-solid, passionate relationship with Him that I wish I had.

This brokenness keeps driving me back to Jesus. It's not a head thing, but a heart matter. I so much want to know Jesus deep, deep in my heart. To have that intimacy. And I realize that experiencing this closeness with Jesus will likely involve more valleys as well as mountains -- until I see Him face to face.

And so I pray for all of us -- that we will not lose heart. And to quote from the Guidebook to Waking the Dead:

Jesus, I ask you now for the Spirit of wisdom and revelation. By your Spirit, guide me through my work here, so that I may know you, really know you, and find the life you offer me. Open the eyes of my heart, Lord. I want all that you have for me here. I want, and ask for, my whole heart back.

Amen.

Jim