Letting Go
Why is it that I have such a hard time letting go of our children, even though they've become adults? Our son, Aaron, is planning to graduate this summer. Isn't quite sure what he wants to do in life, although his great passion is being a basketball referee.
Every time I'm with Aaron I half joke about helping him figure out what he can do for a career before he's out of our sight again. It happened again Sunday night. After he and Shannon had returned home after being far away during spring break, they came over to the house for dinner. I brought up the subject again, asking Aaron about his plans and making a few suggestions. He said, "Dad, not now. I'm too tired. I don't want to think about it."
After he and Shannon went home, I talked to Susan some more about our son as we got ready for bed. I told her that I didn't want him to go through what I experienced after graduating from college -- struggling for a few years in trying to figure out what career fit me. Susan assured me that he would find his way just like she and I did -- as God led us. I knew she was right, and yet I want so much to help Aaron find his way in a career and in meeting a strong Christian woman that he could marry.
My friend Monnie Harris gave me and Susan a great imagery at church a few Sundays ago. We were talking about how difficult it is for us not to be in control. As we walked away she opened up her her hands and raised them up, as a symbol of letting go and giving up control to the Lord. That's what I need to do with our kids and with all my concerns. Realize that God is in control and He can do a much better job of directing our children than we as parents could ever do.
And so, once more I open my hands and release our kids to the Lord. They're His. My job is to continue praying for them and to be there if they come to me for advice.
Letting go really is hard to do. But if I remind myself that as I let go of trying to control our adult children and am turning them over to an all powerful, all loving, all wise God, it's not so hard.
Jim
posted by Jim Clark @ 8:02 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
This is something all parents have in common, Jim. It is so difficult to change from teacher, protector, adviser, to prayer partner, sounding board, and a Barnabas with our kids.
There was a terrible movie many, many, many years ago starring Lana Turner - Peyton Place - in which Turner's character, testifying in court, said:
The love of parent for child is the only love that grows toward separation.
The advantage a Believing parent has over Turner's character is that we pray and have confidence that as we grow toward that 'separation' our kids grow toward God.
Knee callouses grow much thicker and enlarge during the late teens into the 30s with our kids. Tough times for parents, but thankfully, we have a Heavenly Parent that is there to guide and comfort us.
I like that imagery, Kathy. Having calloused knees because we're asking the Father to draw our children cloer to Him, and for us and them to treasure Christ more than anything or anyone.
Jim,
Also there is so much comfort in knowing that God's plan for our kids is for their best and His glory. Sometimes I want for my kids what gives me glory or what I think will give each of them glory.
Great point, Tami. I'm reminded by your comment of the BIG picture. It's all about our Lord getting the glory He deserves.
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