Listen to My Heart

My professor in counseling at Harding Graduate School taught me so much through just one principle he gave us in a class one afternoon. It was 1983 and Joel Johnson mentioned how desperately people want to be HEARD. In fact, he said, until a person in pain is really listened to, their emotional level will continue to rise. And yet if we let them know we understand what they're feeling, it's then when they begin to calm down and are more prepared to solve their problem.

This principle was reinforced when I read Stephen Covey's classic book, 7 habits of Highly Effective People. One habit I especially liked was "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." Isn't it our natural bent to want to let our point of view be heard? We want people to hurry up and stop talking so we can get our two cents in, or quickly give them advice. But how different the communication is when we do our best to understand their point of view -- with no judgment nor a "quick fix" answer to their problem.

Saturday night Susan and I saw a good film that portrayed so well the value of listening to others' stories. "Freedom Writers" is based on a true story of a young idealistic school teacher (played so well by Hillary Swank) who takes on some inner city freshmen high school students. They had been bussed in to Woodrow Wilson High School in Long Beach, California. On the first day of school they were in no mood to learn anything. The classroom was filled with racial tension, defiance and turf warfare.

It wasn't until their teacher asked them to write their story in daily journal entries that these angry, hurt young teenagers began to open up. The key was that the teacher finally decided to listen to their stories, and she was not going to have any success in teaching them English and about life until these kids were heard.

The film really has a powerful message. The language is a bit rough at times and there are a few scenes of violence. But I recommend it. Especially if you want to see and hear a great story about what can happen to the life of young people whose lives are changed when someone takes the time to listen to their hearts.

Jim