Battling with Perfectionism

I question my purchasing decisions far too much. Last night after watching my favorite (and actually only) T.V. show, "24," I griped to Susan about our new couch not being as comfortable as I hoped it would be. Susan mildly rebuked me and said I probably needed to go to bed. "Jim, you question so many of your decisions. I'm glad you didn't regret marrying me and want to go out and get a new wife." Of course, I'd never regret marrying this precious woman.

This morning in the shower I thought about last night's griping session. Perfectionism has haunted me for so many years. I remember a morning about 12 years ago when I barked at the kids while driving them to school, angry at them about something very trivial. That morning at work I felt so bad about how I lost my temper with Aaron and Shannon. And so I called my new friend, Bill Nash, and confessed to him what I did that morning. I recall so well saying, "Bill, I'm such a perfectionist." And I knew that I needed help because it was causing me to be so hard on my own family.

What is it about us that we want things to go right? We hate the imperfection of this world -- in things, other people, in ourselves. And have you noticed that when you go through those times when everything seems to be going quite well, you still aren't quite satisfied? You can always find something that is not quite right in this world.

One day I picked up the book, When God Whispers Your Name, and read one of the most inspiring chapters I've ever read of Max Lucado. The chapter is titled, "The Gift of Unhappiness." I've read this chapter out loud to several people because it ministered so much to me -- and my battle with perfectionism. Max writes:

"We are not happy here because we are not at home here. We are not happy here becasue we are not supposed to be happy here. We are like `foreigners and strangers in this world.' (1 Pet. 2:11) You will never be completely happy on earth simply because you were not made for earth. Oh, you will have your moments of joy. You will catch glimpses of light..but they simply do not compare with the happiness that lies ahead...

Until then, be realistic. Lower your expectations of earth. This is not heaven, so don't expect it to be. There will never be a new car, new wife, or new baby who can give you the joy your heart craves. Only God can. And God will."

I just love that chapter. I make the mistake too often of trying to make heaven out of this fallen world. But I need to realize that perfectionism cannot and will not be found here in this existence, no matter how good life can be. And that as difficult and painful as life may be, as one who is united with Jesus Christ, I have this wonderful hope that one day I'll live in that new heaven and new earth -- a perfect world filled with the very presence of the living God and all His people.

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." -- Rev. 21:1-4

Wow! This place sounds...perfect!

On the way home,

Jim