Something Much Greater Than Dreams Fulfilled

Some things I read just before going to bed linger for hours as I wake up on and off through the night. That happened again last night after reading a wonderful one page article in Pray! magazine.

Ginny Kisling tells of her five year journey as a prayer minister at her church in California. She felt unqualified and somewhat alone in her leadership. Frustration was a constant companion since she didn't sense that the rest of the church was catching her dream of a prayer-based fellowship. In her fifth year Ginny came to a breaking point:

"I finally came to the end of myself, to a place of complete brokeness. I stopped seeking the acceptance from others for the job I was doing and began seeking God's face only. God now had my undivided attention, and He finally was able to share with me more deeply His heart for our church and what He wanted for me as its prayer leader. I realized that my dreams for a successful prayer minstry had been looming much larger in my mind than keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus. " -- Pray! January/February 2007 issue, p. 57

By taking her through this experience, God taught Ginny that He was more imporant than her dreams. She went through a time of confession and repentance, which led to a deep inward transformation. Ginny stopped trying to grow a prayer ministry and instead yielded her life to the hand of the Potter. This change caused her to let go of expectations of others in the body of Christ and a deep dependence on the Lord for the outcomes of her ministry. She learned to relax in Him and become more in tune with what He was doing in her and the church, not what she was doing. And behold, in time, her church began to catch a vision for prayer.

As I went to sleep last night pondering this story, I thought of how so many of us believers, with very good intentions, are striving to lead or grow or nurture a ministry that will expand the kingdom of God. Lately I've been working with our board to develp a vision for how to improve and expand the work of the Christian Service Center.

After reading Ginny's testimony, I'm prompted to let go more and rest in Christ. Oh, I still want to see changes and improvements in how we serve the poor in Abilene. However, I don't want to be a driven leader who focuses so much on developing "my" ministry and yet miss out on what the Holy Spirit is calling me to be and do.

What dream is on your heart these days? To raise a really good family? To have a deep impact on the people in your city? To be really successful in your career? To begin or expand a ministry in your church? May the Lord bless your dreams that you have for exalting His Name and expanding His kingdom.

But in the midst of our ministry dreams, let's stay close in touch with the Potter, and allow Him to shape us into the image of Christ as we go about our work for Him. Like it did for Ginny, it will likely take being broken and disappointed at times so that we will learn to rely on His Spirit and submit to His purposes. Hopefully these moments of testing will call us to leave the outcomes to Him...and enjoy the ride more. And enjoy Him more.

Jim